SANCTUARIES

I am drowning in Marilynne Robinson’s GILEAD TRILOGY (“Gildead,” “Home” and “Lila”). Why have these books put me in such a heartlock? I read “good” books often and analyze  - in a group with other serious readers -  style, vocabulary, imagery and originality. I rarely re-read novels: I am on my fourth Gilead go-through.  

So what’s the deal here? Easy answer: Robinson knew that my soul needed tending so she wrote these books for me. They speak with razor sharp precision about grace and forgiveness, my hardest challenges. 

If I reach the sweet spot of forgiveness, am I required to forgive EVERYBODY, EVERYTHING?  My list includes the 5th grade teacher who made a joke about my weight and my father who disowned me for not staying as a housekeeper after mom died when I was sixteen. I need to forgive a purely mean neighbor who made my life miserable for two years and the driver who cut in front of me to steal my parking spot yesterday. But do I need to forgive Hitler? Or Bush? or a child abuser whom I don’t know but whose existence gives me nightmares? the priests who preyed on young boys? Isis?

Asking for and accepting forgiveness is the important second half of this requirement and it is equally hard. It would take all day, every day, to write such a list. I need to start by asking my daughters to forgive me for all the parenting mistakes I made but mostly for not cherishing every minute of time I had with them. Forgive me, sister, for being too scared to let you talk frankly to me as you lay dying. Mostly, how do I forgive myself for falling short - time after time? 

I’m pretty sure this is the crux of all faiths - the giving and the asking.  But how logistically does one do any of this? Is there a Craig’s List somewhere or a facebook posting for itemized “Gets” and “Gives”? My religious friends probably think that prayer is the answer. I have a problem with the concept of prayer so I’ll read Marilynn Robinson again. I think she knows me pretty well.

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$15 million is the price tag to build the romanesque chaple on the University of Texas Austin campus designed by Ellsworth Kelly. $7 million has been raised; it will take a year to build when the $$ goal is met.

The structure looks a bit morrocan - 4 large segments form a rounded “x” shaped, modestly sized building(approx.2700 square feet).  Inside and outside surfaces are smooth and white broken only by contemporary slashes or dots of colored stained glass (the rose windows?) in 3 of the 4 chancels. A tall redwood totem stands in the 4th space and 14 black and white small marble panels hang uniformly around the walls. It appears that no seating is allowed...standing room only.?...or maybe kneeling room? Will Mr. Kelly (who is presently 92 I think) sign this artwork? Inside? outside?