ISOLATION

Quarantine, One week down.

Here is my week.

(How we all feel!)

1. First Day: Shoppers are running out of stores with carts full of toilet paper and hand sanitizer. I can’t help wondering: why toilet paper? Is this a poop-flu? 
2. Next day. Discount stores are out of all paper products. I’m glad I bought all those Ikea paper napkins. They’re totally versatile. 
3. Day three. Still no paper goods but BJ’s has a full case of fresh vegetables that nobody wants. I predict people will die of scurvy.
4. Todays news: the President has put his son-in-law as co-chair of the epidemic response team who then called his sister’s father-in-law to post on facebook “Any Ideas How to Curb This Thing?” The sister’s father-in-law is a doctor. I guess there’s some sense here but I thought the President “knew people.” I’m getting worried.
5. I decided to make a big pot of stew. My daughter was going to the store and I asked her to pick up three  parsnips. She said they were all out. WHAT?! WHO BUYS PARSNIPS?! What a world!!! I packaged the stew into serving sizes and delivered one dinner size to my friend. Unfortunately, through a mix-up, I delivered the dog’s portion to her. Mistakes will be made. She ate it anyway.
6. My husband is sanitizing everything he can find. His friend called and asked “Did you get the insides of the car door panels, windshield wipers, spare tire?”  I’m bored. He has cleaners’ elbow.
7. I’ve worked the jigsaw puzzle and cleaned. I’ve had wine every night with dinner. Today I put on regular clothes and it wasn’t even noon yet. I’m ready for next week.

Quarantine, week two, begins today — Sunday, March 22. 

I can’t imagine how we get through many of these weeks.  Naturally, both dogs are sick and keep us up all night. They refuse their kibble unless it’s laced with a little cheese but outside? Deer poop? A delicacy!  

At 3 o’clock when rational thought disappears, I am convinced I have a developing brain tumor, stomach cancer, and another heart attack. I take a Tums, go to my computer and order a fun party game. 

Stay in touch, dear ones. Life doesn’t get much more interesting than this.

And it's only week #1!