DEBAUCHERY -- NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH ARCHERY

 Debauchery — extreme indulgences in bodily pleasures…eating, drinking and especially sex.   Decadent, depraved.

I was thinking about Al Franken this week. I always liked Al Frankel as a U.S. Senator — not so much as a comic. I couldn’t help thinking “he got a raw deal! Forced out of the Senate because as a comic he did something stupid” when, in my estimation, as a comic, everything he did was stupid!

But Al’s timing was off. The video of his comic stupidity hit the ethernet just as #metoo was heating up and all the perverts were lining up in courtrooms. The Democrats needed to put a little glow on their righteous halo. After all, Bill Clinton was still wafting around doing “god-only-knows-what-with-whom.” 

And apparently, it was O.K. to make an example of old Al because his seat was safe. In other words, a Democratic Governor of his state (Minnesota) would appoint another Democrat to fill out Al’s term. Also, Senator Kristin Gillibrand of NY wanted to run for President and needed some ammo. So this hot mess was cooked up in somebody’s kitchen somewhere and some idiot said “it’s a win-win!” 

(I hate that expression…almost as much as “thinking outside the box.” First, in my limited experience, there is rarely any such thing as a win-win situation. Somebody somewhere always gives a little more — the scale is never in perfect balance. And that box thing is purely stupid. No explanation necessary.)

So instead of a smack on the wrist, or being grounded for a week, Al fell on the sword. So long, Al! But old Al knows more than one way to skin that cat. Now he broadcasts a podcast and can say anything he wants about anything and Gillibrand flamed out. She’s been totally quiet these last few months.

It is obvious to any moron that the all time debauchee (aside from Caligula) is actually in the White House leading the free world straight to hell (if I may editorialize here just a bit. It’s my blog after all.) Just like Al, no need to look for hidden messages or call in the line-up of bimbos or conduct any investigation.  Each of these men are right there in living color, on tape debauching all over the place.  But nobody has requested the Debauchee-in-Chief step down as “unfit.” Why is that? An even bigger question: why did people vote for him in the first place? I actually love some conservatives; I have close friends and family who are Republicans. I have really good Republican friends that I seriously doubt would take this guy on as a business partner. Hell, I think they’d run the other way before tying their wagon to that stink pot! One of the many mysteries of my life — followed closely by “why don’t I lose 30 pounds when I hardly eat a thing?! And I still don’t get quantum physics or black holes. And why is a nickel twice the size of a dime?”

So here’s another quandary:  the Cancel Culture. (Catch up, people!)  Masses of citizens and former fans instantly withdraw support for a public figure (like Ellen?) after that person says or does something they believe to be offensive. So why isn’t the Cancel Culture coming after debauchees? As liberal as I am — as dyed in the wool progressive — as born-again Democrat — why the Hell did we allow Bill Clinton near a microphone at the Democratic Convention? I’d rather hear Al.