CONFESSIONS OF A HOLIDAY SHOPPER

My "Holiday Blouse"

I just ordered this expensive blouse from an English catalog. It’s being delivered in 12 hours.  That’s the power of internet shopping. I can’t drive from my house to the nearest shopping mall, park, walk inside, find something, purchase, bring home, try on, reverse all…in less than double the time.  Shipping from England: $15 — a bargain.

Not to say this blouse has staying power. Already I'm thinking “big flowers?” I’m old — and “chubby” — and 5’2”(down from 5'3). Then there’s the issue of European sizing. I either ordered a size big enough to serve as Tyvek on the garage or one that will fit my terrier, Lucy. I filled out the “size chart” questionnaire: Height: 5’6,” Weight: 122 lbs., Age: 43. Then I sized up a notch and figured “close enough.”

Now I’m on the hunt for velvet pants. In my dream, I will be transformed into the twin of this model — not outrageously glamorous, not movie star beautiful. This lady looks more like a nurse practitioner or maybe a cellist. I want to be her.

My friend asked me “why velvet pants?” I said “for holiday parties.” “Exactly how many holiday parties are you going to?” That’s when I confronted the awful truth: I’m not going to any holiday parties. 

What am I thinking? I just went through a cleanse. I just wrote about the weight of too much — and I believe every word! But I suffer from the curse of being a middle class American woman, brain washed into thinking I can be younger, prettier, thinner, smarter if I only have the right outfit. Like that song about Laredo: “if you have an outfit you can be a cowboy too.” With the right velvet pants, maybe I can play the cello…or dance a wicked tango…or understand Italian…

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Political Conservatives are on the march again: the multi-trillion dollar federal deficit needs trimming, so by all means, cut the few pennies thrown at the National Endowment for the Arts. Easy target! Read Eve L. Ewing, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, writing for the New York Times. She builds a persuasive case:  Art becomes a political target because it creates pathways to subversion, and incites political understanding and solidarity among coalition builders.  If that’s not enough reason to “throw those artists and performers and writers in the klink,” this one is: ART TEACHES THAT ALL LIVES HAVE VALUE. 

Happy December, everybody.