ODE TO SANDWICHES

CLASSIC GRILLED CHEESE WITH TOMATO SOUP

Can you think of anything more perfect than sandwiches?

First, you get bread — any kind! Glucose intolerant? There’s a bread for that. Nut allergies? No problem! Problem with gluten? Yep, found one. And any shape will do:  flat, pocketed, round or the classic “loaf.”

My mom never made bread — the kind that requires yeast and kneading. She baked cornbread and biscuits. “Wonderbread” — in the polka dot wrapper — was my initiation into soft, white bread. I was about 6 or 7. Pauline, my next-door neighbor, could go inside her house any time and bring out white-bread-and-yellow-mustard-sandwiches which she shared. Before too long, I was buying Wonderbread on my own and graduated to butter-and-sugar sandwiches — the slippery slope to bread addiction.

All kinds of exotica can be added to basic bread dough — seeds, berries, nuts, spices, sea salt (is sea salt a spice?) Plain, toasted or fried. Even steamed - although I’ve never been a fan of wet bread. Does steamed bread really count? Isn’t that actually a dumpling? Or maybe for Brits, a pudding? 

(Aside: I’ve been thinking about french toast. In theory, it’s fried bread. But if there’s no filling, it’s not a sandwich. Same with plain old buttered toast — even if you put jam on it — unless you smash two pieces of toast together and then, voila! you have yourself a jam sandwich!)

In years past, I did enjoy canned bread. Canned bread is very dense and very dark brown. The best thing about canned bread is that it doesn’t go stale in the can so if you’re outfitting a bomb shelter, say, you can fill an entire shelf with canned bread. Later, you’ll be glad you did.

Which brings me to sandwich fillings. Like bread, there are no rules and nothing is out of bounds. Is your sandwich eater a vegetarian? Sure there’s the ordinary lettuce-and-tomato add-to but that’s just a start. Cucumber sandwiches are the hoity-toity of tea parties. Or watercress. Why would anybody bother eating watercress even on bread? During late summer, nothing is any better than a ripe tomato sandwich with mayo when the tomato is so juicy it drips all down the front of you and ruins your white t-shirt. 

 Any combination of cheese and meat filling makes a tasty sandwich. Basically, that’s why the refrigerator is full of possibilities. No piece of pork roast is too small to save. What about the half eaten chicken breast? That too. It doesn’t really matter who initially left it on their dinner plate. Tomorrow, it’s fair game for anybody’s sandwich. 

You can even do a sandwich with OTHER BREAD as filling! Fancy places call that a “club sandwich” but you can’t get around it — one layer is another slice of bread! 

If a vegetarian is still around who eats dairy, go for grilled cheese. Paired with Campbell’s tomato soup, everybody can time-travel. You are 8 years old again. It’s a cold Saturday morning and “Sky King” or the “The Lone Ranger” is on the television. Mom calls you in for lunch before forcing you to get dressed and get outside. Grilled cheese sandwiches always remind me of the Lone Ranger playing on a black and white television sitting across from a scratchy sofa upholstered in dark brown nylon.

The King of Sandwiches: nothing beats the left over Thanksgiving dinner sandwich — turkey, dressing (there’s bread-inside-bread again), and cranberry sauce! Yes! Fruit! Inside a sandwich! Want more fruit fillings? Try thinly sliced apple on turkey. Or peach chutney on pork. Sometimes, I skip Thanksgiving dinner and go straight to the left over sandwich.

Sandwiches require no eating implement! No tools at all! It’s totally appropriate finger food no matter what company you’re in. All dressed up in hat and gloves? Tiny triangles (sandwiches!) At a wedding? Funeral? Bris? Canapes…just a fancy word for sandwich. Doing a big party for the neighbors? Office? Church? Lay the table with bread and sliced meat and walk away. Everybody knows what to do — no explanation needed. Having a cook out? Hot dog and hamburger buns: sandwich bread in disguise.

I nominate sandwiches as the perfect food.

 

THE WEEK THAT WAS

 Last week, I reported that Chip was sick. He had pain in his ear that radiated down his jaw and up into a sinus cavity with total hearing loss and sleepless nights. SOMETHING SERIOUS. 

Four health professionals pointed tiny wands into his ear canal, scratched their heads and said the wrong things. For six days, he took prescription drugs, tried heating pads, ice packs and acupuncture. I suggested rubbing his ear with a dirty t-towel then burying it in the back yard at midnight then I remembered “No, that’s the treatment for warts.” 

I was no help at all.

On day #6, he got in the car to pick up yet another prescription, hit the Down garage door button instead of the Up and broke the door. That thing on top of cars? That looks a little like a shark fin? We don’t have one now. I can only get one radio station — FM. It plays polkas.

On day #7, he saw an Ear, Nose, Throat specialist. 

“Yep, you have a fungus growing in your ear.” The PA cleaned it out. Chip took pictures. It looked a little like pureed over-ripe mushroom. Instant cure! (He never gave the t-shirt thing a chance.)

Today’s New York Times says “good luck to newly elected President Biden but everything hinges on a cure for Covid 19. Nothing else much matters — getting the economy back on its feet, confronting solutions to racism, climate change, restoring dignity to the White House.” 

It occurs to me that maybe we haven’t gone to the right specialist.

“There is never time in the future in which we will work out our salvation. The challenge is in the moment; the time is always now.” (James Baldwin)

Not everybody was thrilled about the national election outcome but I think there is plenty to be happy about: more women elected to public office than ever before including a transgender Congresswoman, four native American women, and in Oklahoma (my home state) a 27 year old binary-sexual person to the State legislature. (I had to look it up.) Stacey Abrams emerged as a powerful energy source, somebody everybody should want on their team! 

What to me are signs of evolution are — to some people —  signs of America’s growing pagan-satan-worshipping, socialistic depravity who lament (that’s a good civil word) that “this president was elected by women and blacks.” 

So? What’s your point?

Stay well and wash your hands.

Our little red barn....