DEBAUCHERY -- NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH ARCHERY

 Debauchery — extreme indulgences in bodily pleasures…eating, drinking and especially sex.   Decadent, depraved.

I was thinking about Al Franken this week. I always liked Al Frankel as a U.S. Senator — not so much as a comic. I couldn’t help thinking “he got a raw deal! Forced out of the Senate because as a comic he did something stupid” when, in my estimation, as a comic, everything he did was stupid!

But Al’s timing was off. The video of his comic stupidity hit the ethernet just as #metoo was heating up and all the perverts were lining up in courtrooms. The Democrats needed to put a little glow on their righteous halo. After all, Bill Clinton was still wafting around doing “god-only-knows-what-with-whom.” 

And apparently, it was O.K. to make an example of old Al because his seat was safe. In other words, a Democratic Governor of his state (Minnesota) would appoint another Democrat to fill out Al’s term. Also, Senator Kristin Gillibrand of NY wanted to run for President and needed some ammo. So this hot mess was cooked up in somebody’s kitchen somewhere and some idiot said “it’s a win-win!” 

(I hate that expression…almost as much as “thinking outside the box.” First, in my limited experience, there is rarely any such thing as a win-win situation. Somebody somewhere always gives a little more — the scale is never in perfect balance. And that box thing is purely stupid. No explanation necessary.)

So instead of a smack on the wrist, or being grounded for a week, Al fell on the sword. So long, Al! But old Al knows more than one way to skin that cat. Now he broadcasts a podcast and can say anything he wants about anything and Gillibrand flamed out. She’s been totally quiet these last few months.

It is obvious to any moron that the all time debauchee (aside from Caligula) is actually in the White House leading the free world straight to hell (if I may editorialize here just a bit. It’s my blog after all.) Just like Al, no need to look for hidden messages or call in the line-up of bimbos or conduct any investigation.  Each of these men are right there in living color, on tape debauching all over the place.  But nobody has requested the Debauchee-in-Chief step down as “unfit.” Why is that? An even bigger question: why did people vote for him in the first place? I actually love some conservatives; I have close friends and family who are Republicans. I have really good Republican friends that I seriously doubt would take this guy on as a business partner. Hell, I think they’d run the other way before tying their wagon to that stink pot! One of the many mysteries of my life — followed closely by “why don’t I lose 30 pounds when I hardly eat a thing?! And I still don’t get quantum physics or black holes. And why is a nickel twice the size of a dime?”

So here’s another quandary:  the Cancel Culture. (Catch up, people!)  Masses of citizens and former fans instantly withdraw support for a public figure (like Ellen?) after that person says or does something they believe to be offensive. So why isn’t the Cancel Culture coming after debauchees? As liberal as I am — as dyed in the wool progressive — as born-again Democrat — why the Hell did we allow Bill Clinton near a microphone at the Democratic Convention? I’d rather hear Al.

 

CLOTHES, CLOTHES, CLOTHES

Last week, I took bags of clothes to the Catholic Charities for Immigrants.  The drop off point is a big old, two story house next door to the Pittsford Catholic Church. It has a covered porch and I sneak up to the front door, drop the bags on the porch and run. I don't know why. They won't call the cops or yell at me for trespassing.  After all, they are there for the express purpose of making that connection between "rich, white mostly old people who have way too much and migrant workers or recent immigrants - probably of color - who have little more than the clothes on their backs." 

And it isn't as though I leave them bad stuff. Really...some of it's Chip's.

The following day, I took more than a dozen garments to the consignment shop. Panache finally re-opened. They are very careful. People must wear masks -- only 4 in the store at one time. Consignees must have an appointment. They only accept "good labels" and everything must be cleaned, pressed and on hangers. If your garment is sold, you get 40% of the loot. They set prices -- and then mark them down for special 'sales'. (Sometimes, I take things to Lu's Back Door. The rules there are the same except they ask that styles be no more than 3 years old. I don't take much to Lu's Back Door.)

I feel a little guilty about this whole deal. Why shouldn't immigrants have the $200 Eileen Fisher pants? How come the charity clothes get stuffed into plastic bags and not on hangers -- freshly pressed? 

Being good is hard these days. Political minefields are everywhere.

A news story last week said the sale of jeans are way down. Instead, people are buying soft, slouchy, elastic waist, comfy clothes -- a clothing version of comfort food -- mac and cheese, meat loaf and mashed potatoes. I'm thinking there's a direct connection. I grew up believing that jeans were the comfy clothes. What happened? Another minefield.

Once, while on vacation, I bought a fancy jacket. You do things like that while on vacation. The jacket was wool embellished with appliqued bits to look like tree branches running up the sleeves. Individual petals sown around the neck formed the collar. The price was out of my comfort zone but I imagined how great it would be to wear this piece of art. I wore it to a special Christmas party. Across the room (did you guess?), there she was -- a woman wearing the same jacket. 

Several years later, I took the jacket to Lu's. Nobody even asked me how old it was. I hope I see it again someday. Maybe at a fancy Christmas party. Will we ever get to go to those again?