BIRTHDAYS AND EYE CANDY

When I turned 70, I cried for a year. 

For one thing, I thought I’d be dead by then, but VOILA! I woke up still breathing and big as Dallas, staring out at people and the world. Nothing was transformed from the day or year before except that I was officially “an elder.” 

Magazines and advertisers try to convince us that 70 is the new 60.  WTF! When did 60 get to be so great? At 64, I thought my life was pretty much Cream of Wheat. That’s when I began writing this blog. No, the blog has not magically changed my life. But it has provided me with a great outlet for talking about observations and commenting on the purely laughable state of human beings -- me included..

I stopped crying when I turned 71. I can’t remember why; it was a sudden flash of optimism. Maybe it was acceptance. Whatever it was, now I think deeper thoughts, feel with greater empathy, and form more profound questions. 

Maybe I had a stroke. 

(Nobody told me and I can decide right now whether to believe or not believe whatever I chose. It’s the new rage: it’s called picking facts that I like.)

Today I am 76 and celebrating my birthday in North Carolina. Last night, I read a few blog entries to a group of lovely ladies at The Pines, a very posh elder residency. I picked an entry from 10 years back that begins “I have been obsessing about death and dying lately.” I looked out over these 20 or so bodies and thought “what in hell can I tell this group and how can I make a joke about dying?” But I did…and they laughed. These women are survivors. And I decided, o.k. Game on! 

I like that part about myself. The rest of me could use a good wire brushing and a new paint job.

Elizabeth Strout in her new book “Olive, Again” moves Olive to assisted living. Now Olive is in her mid-80s and she sits down to type her memoirs. After a few minutes, she types “I do not have a clue who I have been.  Truthfully, I do not understand a thing.”  

Isn’t that just the best?

DETAIL -iron gate decorated with found material...the home of a graphic designer and his artist-wife.